07:46 pm - 5 More Words from little_wren82

1. Tarot: I started reading tarot in... 1995, I think. Or thereabouts. I found the imagery and symbolism on the cards very compelling, archetypes and metaphors dancing in and out of waking consciousness. Tarot speaks to some very deep levels of our understanding of ourselves and what we're about on this journey between cradle and grave. Used in that context it is an invaluable tool for self-examination and growth, one I still use today.
   
   It's not a chronic substitute for intuition and good sense (though it can pinch-hit, occasionally, when inspiration fails). It's not an excuse to be self-righteous. It doesn't foretell the future. Used with a dose of good humor, it can plot out an intriguing storyline. :) If you're a writer stuck for plot and you understand tarot symbolism, give it a try sometime.
   
   
2. Language: A transmitter of information, but it is not the information being transmitted. It is a means of communication, but not that which is being communicated. Spoken/written language in particular is a poor way to convey truth, but it's what we continually fall back on, which explains a lot when you think about it.
   
   I love language and I hate it. I love its poetry, its power, its rhythm. I love how it motivates and provokes change. I love it when it is used to carry and convey truth, and on those (exceedingly) rare occasions when it actually does facilitate communication.
   
   I hate it because it is used to lie, to obscure truth. I hate it when it wounds, tears down, destroys. I hate it because it is WAY too easy to use to divide us -- a tool this powerful should be more difficult to wield, should perhaps require years of training and licensing. Instead we let just anyone use it -- which again explains a lot, doesn't it.
   
   
3. Music: Now this is a means to communicate truth which is MUCH more accurate and efficient than spoken/written word. :) I would argue, for the fun of it and using up lots of those silly words, that humankind only really achieved civilization when it discovered how to record its music and make it available to everyone. All else up to that point was mere prologue.
   
   I studied music in college, saxophone and voice. I was a band/choir geek in high school. I had every Christmas Carol imaginable memorized when I was a girl in elementary school. My earliest memories are of my mother singing to the car radio. She stopped when she noticed me listening. I remember asking her not to stop, to please keep singing. :) Eventually, shyly, she did.
   
   No other force in this reality can bring me to tears as quickly, make laughter bubble up and spill out of my throat as heartily, open me up to transcendence as reliably as music. I hope that after I pass through the veil at the other end of this vale of tears that those who gather to celebrate my life do so with music. If they do, I'll surely be there too!
   
   
4. Parent: If there is any area of my life where I'm more ambivalent about my performance, I can't think of it off-hand. I like to think I did the best I could, parenting my boys, but I'm not convinced of it. In fact, I'm actually pretty sure I could have done better, that I missed the point of parenting entirely, with them. :( I was selfish. I didn't figure out until it was much too late that their childhood should have been all about THEM; instead, it was much too much about me.
   
   Neither of them seem to resent me for it, not overtly. Ah well. At least they have something to tell a therapist, if they ever decide to go.
   
   
5. Sexuality: I was really relieved this was "sexuality" rather than "sex" until I saw that creativedv8tion settled on the smaller word for one of the five he gave me. :-0
   
   Sexuality used to be a huge part of my self-identity. Hell, it used to be a huge part of my self-worth, for all of that. I was not only open about my sexuality, I was up front and assertive about it. I wanted you to know that I was bisexual and polyamorous, playful and adventurous and available -- I truly believed these were important facts for you to have. They were very much a currency I needed us to use in any relationship we might have constructed.
   
   Somewhere along the way, in the past five years or maybe ten, that has changed. I don't really know how or why, but it has. My sexuality is now just another trait about me, like being overweight or having brown eyes. It's simply there, no more or less important than anything else. Somewhere along the line I was able to effect some healing and integration on the issues that originally caused the imbalance, though I didn't honestly recognize that until just now.
   
   I'm... grateful for this, very much so. My life feels much more intricate and depthful and complex now that so many other things can come into focus, in their turn. :) I can build relationships using currencies other than sexuality, a realization that has expanded the palette of interconnectedness enormously.
   

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You really have no right to tear yourself down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself with blessings.

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
And the child who is born on a Sabbath day
is bonnie and wise and good and GAY!